Mediation and Jewish Gets
A Jewish wedding ceremony conducted in The United Kingdom will be recogised under the laws of The United Kingdom, providing all civil requirements are met. In order for a couple to be fully divorced though, they may need to complete civil divorce proceedings alongside a religious divorce.
According to Halacha, a couple can only be released from a matrimony oath is when a bill of divorce is passed from the husband to the wife. This document is known as GET.
What is a GET? A Get is a writ of Jewish divorce which ends a Jewish marriage and enables the former husband and wife to remarry freely under Jewish law. It is a 12-line document, written by hand by a professionally trained scribe under the proper supervision of a Bet Din, or Rabbinic Court, and signed by two witnesses. Under Jewish law, a Get is presented by a husband to his wife. When she acquires the document, both of them are released from all marital obligations. They must still fulfill the obligations and restrictions stemming from divorce under Jewish or secular law, such as support payments, and custody arrangements. It is a formal, clear-cut, legal process which requires only the consent of both parties. A get is advisable anytime the couple was married, even if there was no Jewish ceremony.
The Get acts as proof of the marriage's dissolution. According to the Jewish faith, you must also obey the 'law of the land' when getting a divorce, which means you must also file for a civil divorce.
The Get makes no reference to responsibility or fault. It has no bearing or effect on any aspect of the civil settlement and does not does not subject either party to personal questions. As long as there is mutual consent, there is no need to state detailed grounds for divorce, although the Beit Din may give the couple an opportunity to briefly state such grounds.
Mediation and Gets.
Mediation allows couples to discuss and resolve arrangements concerning their finances, arrangements for the children as well as issues with the Get at the end of a relationship.
Mediation provides a more cost effective, amicable and quicker resolution than the more traditional solicitor/court process.
We specialise in mediation related to Jewish separations where a Get is required. By utilizing mediation, Jewish couples are able to obtain both a civil and religious termination of their marriage in a positive, solution focused way that benefit parties and children. There are several reasons why the use of mediation may be a better alternative. To start with, mediation can remove the potential for legal disputes drama, which could cause an Orthodox individuals to feel embarrassed or that they are being treated unfairly (which could be reasons for denying a get). Additionally, instead of focusing on the legal aspect of ending a marriage (which can cause anger, frustration, and resentment), mediation allows for the possibility of more creative solutions, tailored for the parties and created by them rather than by strangers. Having more control over life post-divorce through creative mediation settlements can also reduce some of the tension between a divorcing couple, allowing them to find more common ground.
Mediation core principles are that it is a confidential and neutral forum where each party has an equal voice, couples are encouraged to work together and consider opportunities for compromise.
Mediation provides a safe, confidential environment, allowing you to discuss future arrangements for you and your family. Others do not need to know what you have discussed or decided during mediation.
Our mediators are skilled at helping you navigate the legal and emotional maze that a family breakdown can create.
It is cheaper, quicker and less stressful than going to court.
It helps provide long-term solutions that are in the best interests of you and your family.
It is flexible and can accommodate all of your family’s unique needs, allowing you to keep more control over your own future.
Mediation can help you to:-
- Take the first steps.
- Understand the options available to you.
- Make arrangement for your children.
- Organise child maintenance payments.
- Look at housing and accommodation issues.
Why do I need a Get if I have already obtained my civil divorce?
To dissolve marriage between two Jewish parties, a Jewish divorce is necessary. A woman who was considered married under Jewish law, but does not receive a Get, is considered by Jewish law to be still married to her first husband, notwithstanding a civil divorce.
I am not Orthodox. Why do I need a Get?
There are two main reasons why we see a lot of non-orthodox Jewish parties obtaining Gets :-
1. For your future: You may wish to remarry in the future in a Jewish ceremony and Conservative and Orthodox Rabbis will not perform the ceremony if you do not have proof of divorce under Jewish law. A Get will assure that any future marriage is recognized by all streams of Judaism.
2. For your children. It can be important to get a get for the sake of any offspring of a subsequent marriage. If a Jewish woman remarries without having received a get, even if she has received a civil divorce, the children of her second marriage are technically considered illegitimate by Jewish law. Such a child may be barred from marrying into many segments of the Jewish community, possibly depriving them of the opportunity to marry the individual of their choice. For this reason, Jewish parties of all affiliations and backgrounds may want to get a get for the sake of their future children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, whose affiliation they cannot foresee.
I don't speak or read Hebrew. How am I required to participate in the proceedings?
The Get process does not require religious observance, belief, or knowledge of Hebrew. There are no prayers or blessings involved. Though Jewish divorce proceedings have not changed over several thousand years, their nature is similar to most present-day legal transactions. You will be required to simply show consent and accept the writ of divorce, settle finances, savings, joint debts, pensions and mortgages.
Contact Wright Mediation for advice, support or guidance surrounding Gets and Mediation.