Contact our Mediation Information Helpline.

Mediation Helpline

What is Family Mediation?

Family mediation is a process where an independent, trained professional helps you and your separated/ex-partner make agreements about vital issues such as parenting arrangements, money, property and savings. Family mediation is less stressful than going to court and is usually quicker and cheaper too.

It can also be used to help with the other issues, such as your children keeping in touch with their grandparents, step families, or in-laws. Mediation can also be helpful when arrangements you've made before need to change, particularly as your children grow up. If you go to court to sort out your issues, the judge will make the decisions. You will need to stick to these decisions even if one or both of you feel unhappy about them.

The benefits of the Mediation service is that it can help you stay in control. No-one will make you do anything against your wishes. The mediator will help you find a solution which works for you both and explain how you can make an agreement legally binding.

A judge will expect you to have considered mediation before you apply to a court to hear your case. They can refuse to hear your case until you have attended a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).


Reach an Agreement with Mediation.

At Wright mediation we find that most people who start mediation will reach agreement without having to go to court.

If you need to formally end a marriage or civil partnership, you will need to apply to the court to do this, but you will not usually have to attend a hearing.

This video produced by the University of Exeter helps explain more about the mediation process and gives advice about what can help the mediation process succeed.

Am I ready to engage in the Family Meditation Process?

1. Are you refusing to accept that the relationship is over?
2. Are your emotions still raw?
3. Are you feeling angry?
4. Are you refusing to mediate?

If you have answered yes to two or more of these questions that you may not be emotionally ready to engage in the mediation process just yet. Research has identified that mediation works best when both parties are emotionally ready.

Click below to access the CAFCASS link to assess your emotional readiness:-

https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parenting-together/supporting-your-children-through-divorce-and-separation/.

What do we mean when we talk about Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR)

When we talk about ADR it is looking at the alternatives to the formal legal processes like court.

Unlike going to court or arbitration, family mediation recognises that you are the experts about your own family and leaves the decision-making to you.

Unlike negotiating through your lawyers, family mediation allows you to speak directly to each other, so that you can both explain what you are feeling and what is most important to you. It also lets you focus on the things that really matter to you as a family.

Both parties get to work together to reach a solution rather than leaving it up to a judge to decide.

FAQs.

Can I revert back to the court process if I decide mediation is no longer for me?

Yes, mediation is a voluntary process and either party is able to stop the mediation process at any time.

Will mediation be fair?

The mediator is there to lead and manage the process throughout but the mediation will only go ahead if both parties agree. Mediators are always impartial and they do not take sides. Mediators don't give legal advice and they do not make any decisions for you. The decisions are down to the parties to work out.

What if I say something during the Mediation then think it over and decide against it?

Mediation is confidential and nothing you say during mediation is legally binding. At the end of the mediation process your mediator will explain to you how to turn your ideas into a legally binding agreement and/or a court order, which normally includes getting legal advice.

What are the costs?

The rates that family mediators charge are generally much lower than the rates that family lawyers charge, but it is always very important to be clear from the beginning how much you are going to be charged, and what services the mediator will be charging you for.

All of our fees are transparent and can be found on our website.

I really do not want to be in the same room as my ex partner.

It may be difficult to be in the same room as your ex partner and your mediator will work with you to ensure that you are comfortable before any joint mediations take place. This may mean shuttling between you and your ex partner who will be in different rooms (virtual rooms).

Contact our Mediation Information Helpline.

Mediation Helpline

MIAM.

Before an application can be made to court, you are required to attend a Mediation Information Assessment Meeting (MIAM). The aim is to see if mediation could be used to resolve your difficulties, rather than going straight to court.

The MIAM is a meeting between you and a mediator to find out if there are alternative ways to find solutions to your problems. Your mediator will help you to understand:
- What mediation is.
- What your options might be.
- The benefits of mediation and other appropriate forms of resolving disputes.
- The likely costs of using mediation.

How long is the meeting?

The meeting usually lasts around 45 minutes.

What happens after the meeting?

The mediator will be able to tell you if your case is suitable for mediation. If it is, he or she will advise you of the next steps of mediation.

The benefits of mediation.

- Mediation provides a safe, confidential environment. This therefore allows you to have an open dialogue about the future arrangement of you and your family.
- Our mediators are skilled at helping you navigate the legal and emotional maze that family breakdown can create.
- It is cheaper, quicker and less stressful than going to court.
- Mediation helps to provide long term solutions that are in the best interest of your family.

What happens if mediation does not go ahead?

If, after your MIAM, it's considered that mediation is not suitable in your case, the mediator will supply you with a form. Signed by a certified mediator, this form confirms that you have attended a MIAM. A court will then allow you to issue proceedings.

How Long does it take to get this form signed?

If Mediation is deemed unsuitable a certified mediator will sign this form within 7 working days.

When is mediation not suitable?

You do not have to attend a MIAM if one of the exemptions. The exemptions include the following:
- You have evidence of domestic violence. For example, he has been convicted of a domestic violence offence, or there is or was a non-molestation order in place within the last two years, or a letter from your GP. For further details contact our advice line;
- If the application relates to a child, the local authority is involved with the family due to child protection concerns;
- You already attended a MIAM or made an application confirming a MIAM exemption applied within the last 4 months;
- The application must be made urgently because:
- There is risk to the life, liberty or physical safety of you, your family or your home; or
- You will suffer significant hardship; or
- Any delay caused by attending a MIAM would cause –
- A risk of harm to a child;
- A risk of unlawful removal of a child from the United Kingdom, or a risk of unlawful retention of a child who is currently outside England and Wales;
- There would be problems with dealing with the dispute – for example evidence will be lost;
- Other reasons, for example you don’t have contact details for the other party, or you need to make the application without notifying him, or he is in prison.

If none of the exemptions apply, or you do not have the required evidence for domestic violence and none of the other exemptions apply, then you will need to attend MIAM. The mediator may decide that mediation is not appropriate for your case, in which case the mediator will sign a document stating that mediation is not suitable or is not taking place.


Am I exempt from mediating?

If you want to take your case to court it is now usually a legal requirement to attend a MIAM. The other person involved is also expected to attend a MIAM, but they don’t have to go to the same meeting as you.

You will not be expected to attend a MIAM if any of the following apply to your situation:

- You, or the other party, has made an allegation of domestic violence against the other supported by clear evidence, for example either a police investigation took place or an injunction was issued.
- The application you want to make to the court relates to other family law matters which you are currently involved in.
- An application to the court needs to be made urgently because there is a risk to the life or safety of the person who is making the application (the applicant) or his or her family (for example, their children) or his or her home.
- The dispute is about money and you or your husband, wife or civil partner (the respondent) is bankrupt.
- You and your husband, wife or civil partner are in agreement and there is no dispute.
- You do not know where your husband, wife or civil partner is.
- You wish to make an application to the court but for certain reasons you don't want to tell your husband, wife or civil partner in advance.
- You are currently involved with social services because there are concerns about the safety and wellbeing of your child or children.
- You can't find a mediator within 15 miles of where you live, or you have contacted three mediators based within 15 miles of where you live and you are unable to get an appointment with any of them within 15 working days.
- You or your partner cannot access a mediator's office because one of you has a disability. However, if the authorised mediator can provide the appropriate facilities then you will both still be required to attend the meeting.
- A mediator shows on the court form that mediation isn't suitable, for example the other person isn't willing to attend a MIAM.
- In the past four months you've tried mediation but it hasn’t been successful. A mediator has to confirm this and state that mediation is not the best way for you to resolve your dispute. - You or your partner do not normally live in either England or Wales and therefore cannot be considered as "habitual residents".
- There may of course be other particular exemptions that apply to you. Before going to court, a C100 Form has to be completed which sets out all the possible exemptions. A mediator will go through this with you and determine whether an exemption applies to your particular case.

Contact our Mediation Information Helpline.

Mediation Helpline

Getting Help.

Feelings of loss, depression, guilt, sadness, fear, jealousy, anger and isolation are all normal emotions during and after a family separation. It can at times leave you feeling that you cannot see the light at the end. During these times it can be hard to know how best to help yourself and your children.

In order for you to get the best emotional, mental and practical support, you may find it helpful to consult a counsellor, life coach, family consultant, accountant, GP, financial advisor or mortgage consultant to work with you prior to, alongside or after your mediation process has concluded. Taking care of your emotional health whilst you are going through this difficult process is vitally important.

Counselling

A significant number of people who have relationship issues find their emotional health is negatively impacted. This can cause anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and these emotions can cause physical symptoms making you feel unwell. Counselling can provide a safe and confidential space for you to talk through your feelings in a supportive environment. Talking with a professional who is not directly involved in your day-to-day life may help you obtain coping strategies. Counselling often known as the talking cure can help you to move forward, find insight and understanding to be able to respond better to their situation, which can also make the mediation process more valuable.

A counsellor may help you explore whether there is a way of working through your issues and moving forward as a family or helping you manage a separation. You can find a counsellor or psychotherapist close to you by searching online at www.counselling-directory.org.uk or www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk.

Family Consultants

Family Consultants can help you individually or together with the personal, emotional and practical issues surrounding your separation or divorce. On separation, it is common for one person to be further along the road to a new life than the other is. This can be difficult to manage if you are the person who feels left behind. A family consultant can help put both of you in a position to be able to make informed decisions about your future.

A family consultant provides short-term guidance and support through a family transition. They can provide face-to-face support or support over the telephone or any combination of ways that can be personalised to your individual, joint or family needs.

It can be reassuring to have some help in tackling how to build your new family relationship in a way that will benefit your child or children.

Accountants and Financial Advisors

If you need to resolve the financial issues arising from your separation, in addition to emotional and practical support, you may also find it helpful to seek advice from an accountant or financial advisor. There will be some big decisions ahead about how you may be able to move forward financially and you will need to consider all of your options in relation to your income, your home, your other assets, your pensions, life policies and your business. Where there are financial matters that need to be considered, you will be asked to collate financial information and complete a financial disclosure form (Link to form). This can be daunting. I will help you during your mediation sessions with this but you may also want some assistance with things like budget planning, valuations, pensions and any company issues, which an accountant or independent financial advisor can provide.

Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB)

The CAB offer a one-stop shop for advice on everything from family matters to finances, wills and children. You can find out about your rights are if your relationship has broken down, for example whether you can stay in the family home or who the children should live with. You can also find out how to deal with things like making a will, changing your name, and where else to go for help.

General Practitioner

Do not be afraid to ask for help, advice or support from you GP if you are feeling anxious, low in mood or depressed. These feelings although a negative and unwanted part of the separation and divorce process should not be ignored. Seeking support when things become overwhelming and you do not know where to turn.

Child Inclusive Mediation.

Child Inclusive Mediation involves a family mediator who is fully trained, talking to your child or children as part of the mediation. This will be in relation to the arrangements that are being made about and for them. Evidence has shown that children benefit from and value their views and opinions being heard. The government has suggested that children aged 10 and above should generally have access to a mediator when questions about their future are being resolved in mediation.

It is important that parents understand the views, needs and desires of their children and involving them in the mediation process may be a good way to do this. Children like to be informed and they appreciate having their views and options heard, although they need to understand that they are not responsible for the overall decision.

Involving children in mediation can be very complex and preparing the child before the mediation is important. Although, if the child is 10 years or over the mediator decides whether child consultation is appropriate or not. Both the parents have to agree to the consultation for the mediation to go ahead.

Child inclusive mediations involves the child talking face to face with the mediator. This is conducted on a 1:1 basis and is confidential between your child and the mediator, unless the child wishes details or their views to be verbalised. Very often the child does have something that they want the mediator to tell their parents, and that they would like the parents to take into consideration when making their decision. Strictly with the child's permission, the mediator will then bring the child's voice into the mediation.

The child can either meet with the mediator who is already working with the parents or, as often happens, with a different mediator. Consultations with a child usually last approximately 45 minutes. Siblings will be seen separately or together depending on what the children themselves prefer.

The Mediator will help the child understand that they are not responsible for any decisions and that the parents remain the decision makers in the mediation process. Often children express the view that they would like to talk to someone neutral when their parents are separating and like to be invited to see and talk to the mediator, without feeling they have to make the decisions.

To find out more about Child Inclusive Mediation contact us today.

Child Contact and Supervised Visits.

We are able to work with Clients to devise an arranged supervised contact (if required/necessary) or supported contact with a social worker/contact supervisor who will be present throughout the contact. This can be a transitional plan starting with supervised visits which progress to 1:1 with parent and child. The social worker/contact supervisor will complete a report which will be shared with both parties.

This could be suitable for parents who have not seen their children for some time or if parents feel comfortable with a gradual plan to reintroduce children to one of their parents in complex situations.

It is imperative that both parties understand the plan and agree to the contact plan that has been put in place. This is a voluntary process that seeks to support parents and families.

For more information contact us today.

Safeguarding and criminal activity.

Safeguarding children, adults and the vulnerable is paramount. During mediation you will be made aware that any concerns or disclosures of safeguarding concerns will be disclosed to the relevant local authorities, services or police.

Mediation is a confidential process, but where there are concerns about the safety of a child or vulnerable adult the protection overrides the principles of confidentiality. The mediator will explain the full details during the mediation process.

You will also confirm that you understand this at the start of your first mediation session.

If it appears to a mediator that a child or vulnerable adult is suffering or likely to suffer significant harm, they have a responsibility to report the information to an agency with statutory powers to investigate and protect. This is normally a social services department.

Mediators do not have any powers to investigate child protection issues or reach decisions about whether a child has been harmed.

The mediator will give the parties an opportunity to make the referral themselves within that working day or by 10am the next morning at the latest. Otherwise the mediator will make the referral as soon as possible. Mediation is unlikely to continue when safeguarding issues are under investigation.

Similarly any details disclosed of tax evasion, money laundering or criminal activity will also need to be reported to the necessary authorities.

Contact our Mediation Information Helpline.

Mediation Helpline

Mediation and Jewish Gets

A Jewish wedding ceremony conducted in The United Kingdom will be recogised under the laws of The United Kingdom, providing all civil requirements are met. In order for a couple to be fully divorced though, they may need to complete civil divorce proceedings alongside a religious divorce.

According to Halacha, a couple can only be released from a matrimony oath is when a bill of divorce is passed from the husband to the wife. This document is known as GET.

What is a GET? A Get is a writ of Jewish divorce which ends a Jewish marriage and enables the former husband and wife to remarry freely under Jewish law. It is a 12-line document, written by hand by a professionally trained scribe under the proper supervision of a Bet Din, or Rabbinic Court, and signed by two witnesses. Under Jewish law, a Get is presented by a husband to his wife. When she acquires the document, both of them are released from all marital obligations. They must still fulfill the obligations and restrictions stemming from divorce under Jewish or secular law, such as support payments, and custody arrangements. It is a formal, clear-cut, legal process which requires only the consent of both parties. A get is advisable anytime the couple was married, even if there was no Jewish ceremony.

The Get acts as proof of the marriage's dissolution. According to the Jewish faith, you must also obey the 'law of the land' when getting a divorce, which means you must also file for a civil divorce.

The Get makes no reference to responsibility or fault. It has no bearing or effect on any aspect of the civil settlement and does not does not subject either party to personal questions. As long as there is mutual consent, there is no need to state detailed grounds for divorce, although the Beit Din may give the couple an opportunity to briefly state such grounds.

Mediation and Gets.

Mediation allows couples to discuss and resolve arrangements concerning their finances, arrangements for the children as well as issues with the Get at the end of a relationship.

Mediation provides a more cost effective, amicable and quicker resolution than the more traditional solicitor/court process.

We specialise in mediation related to Jewish separations where a Get is required. By utilizing mediation, Jewish couples are able to obtain both a civil and religious termination of their marriage in a positive, solution focused way that benefit parties and children. There are several reasons why the use of mediation may be a better alternative. To start with, mediation can remove the potential for legal disputes drama, which could cause an Orthodox individuals to feel embarrassed or that they are being treated unfairly (which could be reasons for denying a get). Additionally, instead of focusing on the legal aspect of ending a marriage (which can cause anger, frustration, and resentment), mediation allows for the possibility of more creative solutions, tailored for the parties and created by them rather than by strangers. Having more control over life post-divorce through creative mediation settlements can also reduce some of the tension between a divorcing couple, allowing them to find more common ground.

Mediation core principles are that it is a confidential and neutral forum where each party has an equal voice, couples are encouraged to work together and consider opportunities for compromise.

Why mediate?

Mediation provides a safe, confidential environment, allowing you to discuss future arrangements for you and your family. Others do not need to know what you have discussed or decided during mediation.

Our mediators are skilled at helping you navigate the legal and emotional maze that a family breakdown can create.

It is cheaper, quicker and less stressful than going to court.

It helps provide long-term solutions that are in the best interests of you and your family.

It is flexible and can accommodate all of your family’s unique needs, allowing you to keep more control over your own future.

Mediation can help you to:- - Take the first steps.
- Understand the options available to you.
- Make arrangement for your children.
- Organise child maintenance payments.
- Look at housing and accommodation issues.

FAQs.

Why do I need a Get if I have already obtained my civil divorce?

To dissolve marriage between two Jewish parties, a Jewish divorce is necessary. A woman who was considered married under Jewish law, but does not receive a Get, is considered by Jewish law to be still married to her first husband, notwithstanding a civil divorce.

I am not Orthodox. Why do I need a Get?

There are two main reasons why we see a lot of non-orthodox Jewish parties obtaining Gets :-

1. For your future: You may wish to remarry in the future in a Jewish ceremony and Conservative and Orthodox Rabbis will not perform the ceremony if you do not have proof of divorce under Jewish law. A Get will assure that any future marriage is recognized by all streams of Judaism.

2. For your children. It can be important to get a get for the sake of any offspring of a subsequent marriage. If a Jewish woman remarries without having received a get, even if she has received a civil divorce, the children of her second marriage are technically considered illegitimate by Jewish law. Such a child may be barred from marrying into many segments of the Jewish community, possibly depriving them of the opportunity to marry the individual of their choice. For this reason, Jewish parties of all affiliations and backgrounds may want to get a get for the sake of their future children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, whose affiliation they cannot foresee.

I don't speak or read Hebrew. How am I required to participate in the proceedings?

The Get process does not require religious observance, belief, or knowledge of Hebrew. There are no prayers or blessings involved. Though Jewish divorce proceedings have not changed over several thousand years, their nature is similar to most present-day legal transactions. You will be required to simply show consent and accept the writ of divorce, settle finances, savings, joint debts, pensions and mortgages.

Contact Wright Mediation for advice, support or guidance surrounding Gets and Mediation.

Contact our Mediation Information Helpline.

Mediation Helpline

Family Mediation Fees

Initial telephone consultation
Free - 10 minutes.

Mediation information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) - Individual
£125 - 45-60 minutes.

Family Mediation - Joint
£160 per party - 90 minutes.

Family Mediation Session notes
£100 per party

Supported/separated child contact
£25 per hour - Varying in times from 1 hour to 4 hours.

Child Contact Session notes
£100 per party

Mediation assessment Individual/Joint
£160 per party - 90 minutes.

Open Statement of Financial Information
£75 - To be provided to each party letter/email/by hand.

Memorandum of Understanding (This document can then be used to make into a consent order).
£75 - To be provided to each party letter/email/by hand.

Parenting Plan
£85 per party - To be provided to each party letter/email/by hand.

Optional Session Summary
£100 per party

Mediation Helpline.

Wright Mediation information helpline: - Available 24 hours 7 days a week for general advice and guidance related to all Mediation queries.

Our mediation helpline can be accessed 24 hours a day 7 days a week with an accredited and register Mediator on the line. This could be for advice, support or guidance related to family, youth, neighbourhood, commercial, generational, workplace or civil mediation.

Email [email protected] or call 01604 345 756 / 07909 690 347.